Friday, August 8, 2008

NBC and Communist China Kick Off 2008 Olympics Tonight

Thoughts and Observations as Beijing 2008 Olympics Begin in Beijing

Bring on the Cute Little Singing Children
Do They Know "It's a Small World After All" in Manderin Chinese?'

Here it is, the 8th day of the 8th month of the 8th year of the new millennium and at 8:00 pm viewers watching NBC affiliates and viewers around the world (well the ratings might not be too hot in Darfur) will see the murderous Communist oppressors putting on their best face putting on a big, bright, high tech show to kick off the the 2008 Summer Olympics. Do you want to bet there will be lots of cute little dancing and singing children? They're a part of almost every Olympics opening and closing ceremony. Some how it seems so much more exploitive when a brutal totalitarian state is hosting. Take a look at the Beijing stadium above. Evil looking isn't it. Does it not look like the spaceship of some evil space aliens like the dreaded Borg from Star Trek Next Generation, have landed in Beijing? The Borg bastards (and we're not talking about the Swedish basketball team) would probably love those Chinese rascals. They're pretty good at forced assimilation and absolute uniformity too aren't they? Have they not told the noble people of Hong Kong who were handed off from benign British to the dreaded communists in 1997, "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated." Have you looked at those little Pokemon-like characters? They're not really Pokemon's, they're called "Fuwa's" which supposedly translates into something like "lucky kids." The Chinese are good at ripping off others' designs whether implicitly, like these Pokeman rip-off's or worse their massive market of counterfeit goods. Ironically, as reported in the July 30th issue of Business Week, "Beijing Olympics: The Icons," they report of the huge counterfeit markets of Shanghai where knock-offs of iPods, Samsonite luggage, clothing branded "Juicy Couture" and "Donna Karan," and caps and jerseys for the Minnesota Twins. These are some of the thousands of hot commodities of Western Cultures Chinese thieves push into world markets making tremendous profits for these crooked pirates ripping off billions of legitimate businesses worldwide. Guess what is positively not permitted in these markets -- any merchandise with these cutesy little Fuwa's or anything else 2008 Olympics related.

Be thankful NBC has not taken the dependably feculent Keith Olbermann along for the ride. The overwhelming choice from the cable news networks as "worst person in the world" and erstwhile ESPN and FOX TV sports blabber will stay home. Fortunately, NBC football color analyst, John Madden's fear of flying precludes any possibility of NBC experts to dream up some roll for him to be inserted for some sport where a few "boom's, wap's, and doinks" could be exploited. I was secretly hoping Madden could have broadcast woman's gymnastics or synchronized swimming. Obviously, NBC will be a willing shill for the Beijing communist officials so they surely won't have any commentary on the "mud and the blood and the boogers" littering the outer areas of the Chinese Capital that has yet to explain that weird looking space ship that landed in one of its prime areas.

Bob Costas, the diminutive, persistently verbose, senior anchor will offer his scholarly dissertations laden with metaphoric allusions and arcane baseball references ascribing universal and mythological significance in a futile attempt to provide a polite veneer to cover over the blatant commericialism and political grandstanding surrounding every play-by-play call through out the events.
The NBC television network will serve as the mother ship while their cable outlets CNBC, MSNBC, USA, and Oxygen will carry the events. So far NBC has not tried to hype its coverage on the Oxygen network with the slogan:

The 2008 Beijing Olympics: You'll Be Gasping for Oxygen.

On that note, let the games begin, if they haven't already. Let's also hope there are some decent sporting events too. The world is watching but somehow this writer's remote control will likely punch up something else -- preseason football, the Orioles, the Nationals, NASCAR, or heck, maybe even a few hours of prime time Weather Channel.

USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!

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