Saturday, February 26, 2011

Choices

Pregnancy is a tough issue -- ask any woman who's been through it. Abortion is even tougher -- ask any woman who's been through it if that's a subject she'd openly discuss. Conversely, if life doesn't begin at conception when does it?

If that is so, how can a person argue abortion is not taking a human life or at least a life in progress? Abortion is ugly. Sonograms show little fellows swimming in embroyotic fluid earlier and earlier. Sonogram guided abortions also have shown these little fellows fighting for their lives when abortive intrusion occurs. However, before we scream MURDER, let's deal with some hard core tough realities.

Men cannot get pregnant, Woman reach an age where they're no longer furtile. It's very easy to define morality in absolute terms when it only affects some one else. How many well-to-do Republican daddies have daughters who've had abortions they'll never know about?

Does the state have the power to compel a woman to become a mother against her wishes?  If the fetus is viable, it seems legit to say absolutely. Adoption is always an option. It's interesting that those who oppose abortion generally make all kinds of assumpions and feel convinced that women who have abortions will at some point if they  have any  soul at all become overwhelmed with guilt, hate the day they killed a child, and dread the judgment day they will have to answer for murder. Perhaps some women do feel such guilt. But what about women who give up babies for adoption who see that child coming kicking and screaming entering this world?  Do they not consider all the "what if's" or wonder how the child they gave up might be doing.

If a person believes that life begins at conception and that abortion is murder, there can be no second guessing, no accomodation, that perhaps only in the case of preserving the mother's life can abortion be justified. Even in the case of rape or incest, abortion cannot be justified because the potential child had nothing to do with the circumstances of his conception.

However, even women who are primarily anti-abortion will point out that what could violate a woman more than rape or incest and then on top of it, she would be held responsible for carrying a child as an eternal reminder of the horror or horrors how she was violated -- raising a kid who carries half the violator's DNA?

There's also the social context of the multiple problems brought on by unintended child births, single parent homes especially for younger mothers, the likelihood of poverty, horrible possibilities for kids growing up without fathers -- failure in school, drug abuse, gangs, very late term abortions conducted in the violent city streets.

Examining the abortion debate, there are lots of lose/lose and win (for the anti-abortion foes)/lose. We will not consider a woman having an abortion a win for anyone except maybe the politicians and agencies like Planned Parenthood who support abortion.

This writer knows three women who have had abortions, two of whom confided some of their circumstances. One was a college student whose IUD failed. Another was dealing with the end of her marriage to an alcoholic. Both of these ladies were destined for tremendous success, one a cumma cum laude college student the other a recent master's degree recipient destined for a brilliant career in her field of study. They've gone on to great success and have become very loving and devoted moms. There is zero evidence of the kind of guilt the pro-life supporters would assume would exist. The college student was paying her own way through college and would have had zero family support if she had a baby. The other lady would not have been able to continue her career of choice, one that required long hours and much study. There were zero chances of matrimony for the college student. The other lady's marriage was a close to divorce and faced a situation where continued cohabitation with the drunk would have continued subjectgation to abuse.

There is no way this writer can call those ladies sinners or murders. They are women who faced a horrible choice, agonized as they weighed their options, and did what they felt they had to do. Both are contributing to society in exceptional ways right now and are happily married. Some who read this will quickly jump to the conclusion none of that matters, they have sealed their fates. They'll burn in hell for murdering children.

Is this not the ultimate example of why the Bible teachers us "judge not lest ye be judged?"  When we judge on a level like this, we're dealing with ultimate kinds of issues. No judgement should be made casually and not without realizing are judgment often reflects more on ourselves than the subjects we judge.

There are religious people who insist abortion is murder. There are others, with equal fury, will take the stand having a child without the means to devote all one's devotion to raising a child responsibly is also sinful.  White middle class people don't have to deal with the ravage of single parent families where there is no father providing support. Men can impregnate a woman,disappear and never truly become fathers. Men are only as involved in the child rearing process as they chose to be. Many men make horrible choices.

Therefore, is it right for men to madate choices for women? The fateful issues involved in considering abortion simply  do not affect men. Sure some deadbeat dads get the justice they deserve for being deadbeats, but that's just a small part of the bigger equation.

Life begins at conception. This writer is a man. This man cringes at the thought of an abortion. The idea of that "little fellow" avoiding death when the abortion probe is inserted just brings a sense of horrible sorrow. This writer also thinks about the three woman he knows who had to make the fateful choice and knowing the specifics of each one cannot possibly villify the ladies he knows. They did what they felt had to be done.  This issue truly is one that is so heavy it appears to be beyond a human's capacity to judge -- at least if his gender is male.

This being the case, I cannot support outlawing abortion but do support very strict limits on late term abortions -- that the window of opportunity must be a short one. While Rowe b. Wade appears to be a horrible court decision with faulty logic defending it, the societal situation remains the same regardless.  If the women of our nation were to develop a consensus one way or another on the aborion issue as long as the window is very short, this writer's consciousness tells him this is not his place to intervene.

This is my choice, one that I agonize over and would like to simplify and side with the "pro life" position. I feel this is an ultimate decision for a woman. I am a he who cannot understand this from the ponit of view as "she."

God help us!



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