Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Fountain Made Me Do It -- A Case Study in How NOT to Handle Adversity

An idiot's idiot -- outed herself in one of the most classic embarassing situations ever.

Imagine seeing “pennies and coins” right before your eyes. Last thing you remember was texting your and your husband’s birthday to a friend. Ooops. Suddenly Berkshire Mall in Reading, Pennsylvania is suddenly on the map!!!

Before you laugh too hard, is there anyone who hasn’t pulled off some really dumbass stunt at some point?

Okay, so much for the obligatory moralizing. Some folk’s preoccupation with texting has gone WAY TOO FAR. Meet Cathy Cruz Marreno. Captured by maul surveillance cameras and somehow leaked to YouTube, this dim witted dope failed to notice she was taking the ultimate plunge. Here’s the initial report on CNN:

Hold all responsible parties accountable…. Some how the mall is to blame? Egads, there’s only one person responsible -- FOUNTAIN LADY!!! Who even conceded she could have walked into a bus. Ah, but this is the litigious blameless society where nothing anyone does is ever that person’s responsibility. She’s all lawyered up and ready to kick some butt.

Can you see the outcome now? Malls will surely have big signs all around them that warn, “Danger, walking without stopping into the boundary around this fountain could be injurious to your health. Possible dangers include tripping and falling into the water. Harm could include a bumped head, strained joints, and aquatic immersion.

Hearing this woman speak erases any sense of pity one could have for this person. That a person like this should suffer such a fate somehow appears to be very appropriate divine justice

Shall we pose the obvious question? Who would have even known it was Cathy Cruz Marreno who fell in the fountain had she not lawyered up and gone on television to whine about her fate to begin with.

The story does not stop there as one of an unfortunate desperate housewife from hell. It turns out this fool has quite an impressive rap sheet that should make her “persona non grata” on the mall’s premises regardless.

She has outstanding felony charges for using a co-worker’s credit card to buy $5,000 in merchandise. Additional charges include criminal deception and receiving stolen property. Some of her rip offs involved stores located in the mall in which she took her world famous tumble. She also has a noteworthy record of previous convictions.

Here’s an extended interview from ABC’s “Good Morning America” which reveals just what kind of citizen we’re dealing with here – not the kind of person one would want as a next door neighbor for sure.

Her true character comes shining through in this CNN report filed by reporter, Jeannie Moos.

When all things are considered in this episode, it’s hard not to imagine if one were standing next to Ms. Marreno near a fountain how hard it would be to resist the urge to push her in. Why do grand tours of the talk show circuit, a book deal, and a TV drama biography seem to be right around the corner when doing hard time in the slammer seem so likely to be her “next step?”

File this story under Shakespeare was Right, "Kill all the lawyers!" (Richard the Third)


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