Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Dem Baw-Lee-Mur Sportz Fans Will Drive Yew Crazy, Hon


Why are so many Baltimore fans so blue and crabby?

We don't call our hometown Crab Town for nothing, hon. This writer will be the first to defend his hometown for the many fine things we enjoy or if we're unjustly criticized from afar, but darn, while we do have some great sports fans, just witness the roar at any home Ravens' games, listening to local sports talk over the years reveals a subclass of sports fans that are uniquely Baltimore and uniquely terrible.

Every home town has its dumbass sports fans. There are the ones who are self-appointed geniuses who think they know everything. There are the ones who live in fantasy land who think all the star players are readily available at some great big Sam's Club where its just a matter of team owners and GM's picking someone who the fan thinks belongs on the home team, and boom, just like that done deal. Somebody in the Orioles' organization screwed up with Mark Texeira for example. Some fans are just plain dullards. No explanation needed.

In Baltimore, we have a unique form of paranoia that pervades a significant percentage of sports fans. Tune in to any of the local sports-talk stations any given day, you'll hear them. Some of the talk show hosts could be part of this cult. Hello Nestor Aparacio whose radio station has all the power of an average light bulb.

There's a canned speech that preludes most discussions of the Orioles. Peter Angelos, the team owner, is the villain. The speech begins with "He fired Davey Johnson and Jon Miller..".and then lists whatever crimes Angelos might have committed against Baltimore baseball. Hmm, does anyone think Jon Miller's ability to return to his home town and broadcast for the Giants had an appeal for him? Okay, Angelos screwed things up big time for many years. He also inherited a depleted organization. Still, these Baltimore blockheads must have missed the headlines about Andy McPhail's arrival as team President and not witnessed what he's attempting to accomplish. The Orioles are a frustrating mess, but there's an intelligent, informed point of view and there's the weird conspiracies. Don't hold your breath for the day Cal Ripken owns the club.

The paranoia around the Ravens is more surreal. Okay, no city has ever dealt with the heartbreak and insult the Baltimore football fan suffered on that snowy night in March, 1984 when the Mayflower vans packed up the Colts and moved them to Indianapolis. Ask fans in Cleveland how they feel about what happened to the Browns. Sure Cleveland got a better deal than Baltimore, but who won a Super Bowl first? The Ravens or the Indianapolis Colts? The Ravens did. The Ravens are one of the ten best teams of the last decade. Ooops, the Colts are #1. Baltimore fans must accept that Peyton Manning will deservedly be mentioned in the same breath as Johnny Unitas. Deal with it.

Baltimore, we have a football team. They've been here since 1996. They're not going anywhere, and they're pretty darned good.

Oh, but the league officials are out to get the Ravens. The national media doesn't respect us. Wake up, if we heard the sports talk or listened to the radio broadcasts of other cities, they'd surely cite calls that went against them too. There are some pretty sloppy crews, but the crew who handled Sunday's game in New England was superb.

As for the national media, does anyone really care what Colin Cowherd has to say? He's a west coast pretty boy who could just as well be a tabloid or entertainment reporter. Consider the source. Chris Berman tends to dis the Ravens, but he's a front runner. When the going gets good, all of a sudden, he'll be making all his sound effects and weird noises ring true for the Ravens. Are we going to let something Keeshawn Johnson had to say matter? Truth be told, Baltimore gets treated pretty decently. We're developing the kind of reputation fans in Oakland and Pittsburgh enjoy. The only way to enhance it is to have more home playoff victories. The Ravens post season play has largely been a road show.

The Ravens have the opportunity that only seven other teams currently enjoy, a chance to advance to the Super Bowl. Right now, what else matters? We can relish our win last week or look ahead to Sunday's game. The Ravens weren't "supposed" to beat New England. They did. They're not supposed to beat Indianapolis. They can.

That's good enough for this fan.

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