Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Yisrayl Hawkins and the Nuclear Baby

Be careful where you drive around Abilene. There’s another one of those wacko (not to be confused with Waco) cults that far exceeds the depraved imagination of David Koresh who might have talked to God, but maybe should have talked to his lawyers before Janet Reno and her crew made Texas barbeque of him and his Branch Davidian followers.

Yisrayl Hawkins is a washed up Texas Cowboy singer “Buffalo Bill” Hawkins who has started yet another (polygamous no less) religious cult. Well Yeow-we, oops, The House of Yahweh, a tangled mix of Old and New Testament references preparing for the second coming of Yahshua the Messiah. They are essentially an apocalyptic cult combining some of the most extreme aspects of Judaism with Revelations and some of the more mystic chapters of the New Testament. Much material comes from The Torah. The Cult observes kosher diets.

Here he is. He’s been born and is developing, the “Nuclear Baby.” In the cuteness department, Baby Jesus is the clear winner, no doubt. He’s out to kill all but around 20% of us. According to Hawkins’ prophecy this little fellah is going to kick some serious ass over around Baghdad. Just what the Iraqis need, another warped terrorist who kills them in droves. Maybe he’s a distant cousin of Saddam Hussein or Bin Ladin. So what would be on his birth certificate, part baby, part nuclear bomb?

Nuclear war was supposed to have started on September 12, 2006 that was to destroy the world. Ooops, that didn’t happen, so instead now, that’s the day the clock started ticking, possibly the birthday of little Nukey pictured above. Maybe Nukey was conceived on that date and born May 7, 2007. Somehow the prophecy hasn’t quite all fallen into place because 4/5’s or 80% of humanity should be dead by now. I guess, little Nukey has found some other cool play things in his crib.

This is no right wing cult, no sir, so help me, Al Gore. They believe that we’re really screwing things up with global warming. However the cause of global warming is sexually transmitted diseases. All those nasty little germ agents are not just killing the sinners but they are also corrupting the holy firmament.

When it comes to little Nukey, I sure wouldn’t want to be that little bastard’s baby sitter. He looks like a cross between “Chucky” and some eastern European dictator doesn’t he?

On February 13, 2008, Hawkins was busted for polygamy on four counts of bigamy. In light of the other activity against Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, their polygamy cults and the prosecution of Warren Jeffs, more attention is bearing down on this group. Some fear they might have a suicide pact.

Anyone for Kool Aid?

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