Whoa Alice, what's with all the malice in Dallas? Not since the world was abuzz about who shot JR has there been a sleazier soap opera in Dallas than what their football team provides in nightly installments on ESPN and the NFL Network. Temperamental problem child, Terrell Owens is behaving himself. Quarterback, Tony Romo, has an injured pinkie that was supposed to keep him out for four weeks. However, just as Romo's digital distress became news came the tale of Mesa State Senior Trevor Wikre who could have had surgery to fix his diminutive digit and face the end of his season or have it chopped off and continue playing, the hardy Guard gladly sacrificed his fallen finger. Word hit the Cowboys clubhouse at about the same time Pacman Jones got his butt busted once again, and rumor has it Jerry Jones was chasing his millionaire manly man boy toy for singing star Jessica Simpson around the locker room with a pair of anvil pruners. Soon Romo was playing a little toss with the fellahs and now plans to start on Sunday. No point in going into details, but as expected, Pacman Jones is suspended, status unknown. He got in a fight with one of the bodyguards assigned to monitor his every move, but even that didn't help this sociopathic heap of excrement under a helmet. To help calm things down, the Cowboys traded for receiver, Roy Williams, giving the team two players named Roy Williams. Will Jones try to hire the UNC basketball coach to supplement his staff too? Anything is possible in Dallas, though their probability of heading to the Super Bowl seems a lot less likely now than it did three weeks ago. When did a team ever lose in overtime on a blocked punt? When that happens, you know there's some might bad karma aon the loose!
Baltimore at Miami (3 1/2)
South Florida has been rough on the Ravens, but if their defense can keep Chad Pennington under control, they should win convincingly.
San Diego at Buffalo (pick 'em)
The odds makers want no part of this one. Buffalo has been the team not expected to do much who has looked red hot so far this year aside from an embarassing loss to Arizona in week 5. Meanwhile, San Diego's season is another one of those "woulda, coulda, shoulda" stories all too often. On paper, the Chargers look like the better team, but having to play an early game in the Eastern time zone, the Bills will outlast the Bolts.
Pittsburgh (9 1/2) at Cincinnati
It will be so quiet in Paul Brown Stadium, the Cincinnati crowd will be able to hear the laughter echoing down the Ohio River Valley reverberating from Pittsburgh were the "terrible towel" gang will be living it up in their living rooms and local pubs. This is a massacre in the makings unless the Steelers try to rest some of their banged up starters.
Tennessee (-8) at Kansas City
The Chiefs will feel a lot like the Wicked Witch of the West's sister did when Dorothy landed her house right on top of her in the Wizard of Oz. Given the Kansas City football team has a cowardly lion as running back, a tin man for wide receiver, and scarecrow for quarterback, the Titans should be able to easily prevail over the chaotic mess in Kansas City.
New Orleans at Carolina (-3)
If New Orleans could get its offense playing up to expectations, they'd win this game. This is one heck of a tough call as both teams are good one week, and confused the next. Carolina is deeper and has more tools than New Orleans. A field goal margin is probably right on the moneey.
Minnesota at Chicago (-3)
The Bears should be able to handily devour the Vikings. They should easily beat the spread and then some.
San Francisco at New York Giants (-10.5)
After their embarassing loss on Monday Night Football to Cleveland, the Joisey Giants should have learned their lesson on not taking a lesser team seriously. They won't let this game slip by after their recent fiasco on the shores of Lake Erie.
Dallas (-7) at St Louis
Yikes, all eyes will be on the 'Boys to see how much the ongoing soap opera affects play on the field. The real issue is Tony Romo's pinky. If he can pass effectively and keep control of the ball, the Rams should offer little resistance. There's too much talent on the Dallas Cowboys to let this one slip away.
Detroit at Houston (-9)
How will Matt Millen's departure trickle down to the bench and help the Lions' players respond with a little hope and enthusiasm? They certainly gave the Minnesota Vikings all they could handle last week. Meanwhile, Houston just barely beat Miami after a tough loss in week five against the Colts where they had the game under control until some last minute magic from Payton Manning handed them a brutal last minute loss. Regardless, Houston has more punch and power in their game than Detroit could ever dream of. Houston will win with ease!
Cleveland at Washington (-7 1/2)
The Redskins are favored but they were also favored against a more miserable St. Louis Rams, almost a two touchdown favorite, but wound up losing by 2 points. The folks in DC suggest that, honest injun, the Skins simply did not get up for their competition giving the Rams a chance to pull the upset. Cleveland will be a tougher competitor and is beginning to show some of the kind of performance that had them rated so highly earlier in the season. Get serious and play all out, Washington dominates the game. Otherwise, they could have a monster on their hands.
Indianapolis (-1) at Green Bay
This is a tough game to call as neither team has played up to full strength so far this season. If Indy plays with the intensity they beat Baltimore, Green Bay should fall easily. Green Bay is capable of exploiting the Colts' defense, but can their defense handle Payton Manning and his buddies? We'll pick Indianapolis to pull this one out.
New York Jets (-3) at Oakland
As long as Brett Favre keeps his offense focused, they'll destroy Oakland. Oakland's ability to pull the rare upset will be tougher as the season wears on. This win will help keep the Jets in the mix for the AFC East's lead with New England's season sidelined by Tom Brady's knee surgery.
Seattle at Tampa Bay (-10 1/2)
Travelling from the great North West to the Florida Gulf Coast, the shoddy, lackluster play of the Seahawks will be tested against the up and coming Buccaneers. As long as "Chuckie" has his boys up for the task, they'll take care of the Starbucks Boogie Men with ease.
Denver at New England (-3)
New England is still looking for the right winning formula to keep them strong enough to advance in January with their leader sidelind. Despite this tremendous void in the Patriots' game plan, they play smart and take advantage of every miscue their opponents provide them. Jay Cutler and the Denver offense must control the ball and avoid giving New England a short field to play with. Denver should get the lead early and then hold off the Patriots. The Pats don't have all the tricks to fall back on with their leader out of action. Keep an eye on special teams. This is where New England could drive Denver crazy. However, Denver will be up for this game and if they play up to their ability, this game is theres.