The Stinking Red Sox nation is gone for another year, thank God! For three nights, Orioles Park in Camden Yards was bathed in red where every Red Sox triumph was greated with a roar of the Beaner faithful who sucked the charm out of charm city with their New England ways. The Red Sox beat the Orioles in predicted fashion barely giving the Birds a chance to come up for air for the first two nights only to give the Boston gang a kick in the arse and a hardy "see you later" by sending them home with an 11-6 Orioles' victory.
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Tonight, Camden Yards will be silent. It will take a full day to get the stench of clam chowder and Boston style baked beans out of the atmosphere while security does last minute exercises to prepare for the Bronx invasion this weekend, three games where Baltimore becomes, "Huh, you gotta problem with that," Yankee Stadium on the Patapsco. As Friday progresses from afternoon into evening, the charm of charm city, will be replaced with a more agressive surely tone where you wonder where all these guys named "Vinnie" came from, and "hon's" became replaced with "huh's." The hometown faithful will fear showing black and orange in theire own ball yard as pinestips and caps with NY on the front panel take control. However, let's have some fun with our guests.
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Ask them how the Mets are doing? "Hey aren't the Mets higher in the standings than the Yankees?"
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Inquire, "Wow, you've come all the way down here to see the Yankess play in Baltimore. You know Washington has a new ballpark too. Have you come down to see the Mets play in Washington?"
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Remind them: "Hey, the Red Sox were just here. Man, they're looking good. I think they could kick the Yankees ass right now."
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Ask them where there's a good place to eat in New York the next to last weekend next month. "We've got several bus loads of people heading to New York who want to see the Orioles play one last time in Yankee stadium. Gee, we'll never forget those grand slams Mark Belanger and Gary Roenicke hit."
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Other questions:
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"Hey, doesn't Hank remind you a lot of his old man?"
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"Steinbrenner, he lives down in Tampa doesn't he? Is he running the Tampa Bay Rays? They're in first place now."
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"How do you like those commercials about Joe Torre becoming an LA kind of guy. You think the Yanks would be doing better if he were still around?"
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"You know Babe Ruth's from Baltimore. Right out there in the outfield, his family used to have a pub!"
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Keep pointing at various Yankees on the field and ask them what that guy's name is. If it's somebody you never heard of, say, "Hmm, I hear he's pretty good, isn't he?"
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When the Orioles hit a fly ball to centerfield start crying, "I miss Melky Cabrera!!!"
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Ask them how "Cindy" Ponson is doing in their rotation. Follow up with all the times he got in bar fights and puked on people in Baltimore. Ask them how many times he's gotten arrested since he joined the Yankees.
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Ask "How's that Carl Pavano acquistion working out?"
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Say, "Hey, it's almost the end of the month. Do you think the Yanks will add Barry Bonds (or Roger Clemens) for a little September magic?"
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If they ask for directions, send them out on I-95 or 295, tell them to follow the signs to Washington. The good restaurants are just about as far as driving from Bronx to Brooklyn. Once they find New York Avenue, tell them, they're almost there!
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Ask, "Gee, if things keep going the way they are for the Yankees, you think Steinbrenner will fire the manager. You think they might get Billy Martin back??"
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