Saturday, September 17, 2011

NFL 2011: Week Two -- NFL Analysts Have Too Much to Say

Good grief, between the clowns at ESPN, round the clock football on NFL Network, and every lesser or regional sports network trying to get its say in, every week of the NFL season has to be defined in epic proportions, every game must be significant and long range predictions based on one game flow like flood water.

Consider the Baltimore Ravens thumping the Pittsburgh Steelers at M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore. While the national media hasn't proclaimed the Ravens a Superbowl contender yet, the Steelers have been subjected to all kinds of analysis from the Super Bowl Loser's curse to notions that their defense is suddenly dying of old age. Can't we just state the obvious -- the Ravens handed their arch rival Steelers a good old fashioned ass whoopin'. The Steelers will almost certainly look more like themselves, more than a two touchdown favorite hosting the Seattle Seahawks who miraculously made the playoffs from a dreadful division last year.

Are the Indianapolis Colts absolutely finished until Peyton Manning returns? Okay, Houston clubbed them last week. Houston beat them in last year's season's opener too. They host the Cleveland Browns this week who Vegas has given a 2.5 point edge. The Browns can rescue defeat from the jaws of victory no matter who they play. The Lucas Oil Dome crowd will be all over them.

The Dallas Cowboys apologists are running wild. Hey they got beatten by New York Jets who beat them by a field goal. Tony Romo is so misunderstood. Well can anyone understand why he almost always sucks in the 4th quarter. Dallas could, would, should.... this logic grows old. There's been nothing much to really respect about this team since Aikman-Smith-Irvin wore the star helmets.

Cam Newton is the next Michael Vick, Peyton Manning, or Tom Brady after an impressive but losing performance where the Carolina Panthers lost to Arizona.

After getting thumped by division rival Washington, New York Giants head coach, Tom Coughlin is as good as fired and it looks like Eli Manning will never materialize into a winning NFL quarterback as if he never won a Super Bowl.

Make it official, the New York Jets are going to the Super Bowl, but then Rex Ryan says that every week doesn't he?

So let's look at week two and see what's going to be the big talk tomorrow:

Baltimore Ravens (-6) @ Tennessee Titans
Ray Lewis, Haloti Nagda, Terrell Suggs, and Ed Reed will do some fancy country line dancing all over the Tennessee offense while the fast paced Ravens offense will have Ray Rice running like a moonshiner. A strong effort by the Ravens should equal a big win.

Arizona Cardinals @ Washington Redskins (-4)
The Redskins should win convincingly, but it's way too soon to say Shenanigans and son have he Skins straightened out.

Seattle Seahawks @ Pittsburgh Steelers (-14.5)
Around 4:00 pm tomorrow, the Steelers loss last week to Baltimore will be a distant memory after they win by more than two touchdowns over Coach Geez-Whiz's misfits.

Cleveland Browns (-2.5) @ Indianapolis Colts
Kerry Collins will look like a Quarterback with Super Bowl experience providing enough for the Colts to beat the "Mistake by the Lake."

Kansas City Chiefs @ Detroit Lions (-8)
EGADS, the Lions are favored by 8 points!!! The Lions will start the season 2-0. Look out world and hear the Lions roar!!!

Oakland Raiders @ Buffalo Bills (-3)
Okay a lot of folks jumped on the Buffalo Bills' bandwagon after their total ass kicking dealt the Kansas City Chiefs, a playoff team last year, 41- 7, but then there were those who were convinced Oakland who did beat Denver by a field goal last week as the toast of the NFC West. This game is a close call, but the Bills should defeat Oakland who along with everything else had a short week playing a late Monday night game in Denver before having to regroup and head to western New York.

Tampa Bay @ Minnesota Vikings (-3)
The Vikings are pursuing the same strategy they did a year ago which brought down the roof in Minnesota, hire an over-the-hill quarterback. If there's any shot Donovan McNabb has anything left, he can prove it by beating Tampa, but we're going to pick youth and enthusiasm over a real nice guy with not much left.

Jacksonville Jaguars @ New York Jets (-8.5)
The Jets will look as brilliant as head coach, Rex Ryan, says they are as they beat the NFL's most unknown team.

Chicago Bears @ New Orleans Saints (-7)
It's hard to feel strong about New Orleans given their loss to Green Bay and how impressively the Bears beat Atlanta, a likely contender, so convincingly last week. This game is really a coin flip regardless of what Vegas says, but we'll stick with the Saints. They're just too well balanced to be defeated by "Dah Bears."

Green Bay Packers (-10) @ Carolina Panthers
Welcome to the NFL Mr. Cam Newton. Be careful or else you'll be on your back admiring how Carolina blue the sky is as the Packers defense has a little welcoming reception for you. The Packers will give the young, gifted QB some serious growing pains for sure.

Dallas Cowboys (-3) @ San Francisco 49'ers
This will be a test of how well first year coach, Jim Harbaugh, has brought discipline and drive into a team known for being slackers and underachievers in the past. If they play a solid controlled game and hurt Tony Romo's feelings, they'll win.

Cincinnati Bengals @ Denver Broncos (-4)
It's tough to pick winners when both teams aren't very good. This game could be more a matter of which team doesn't give away the game than does something distinguished to win. Marvin Lewis is among the longest tenured coaches in the game now. Why should such a good man have to suffer so long with such a confused and crappy organizations?

San Diego Chargers @ New England Patriots (-7)
A team that's always supposed to be so good but typically comes up short against one of the most dependable teams in the game, New England should win convincingly.

Houston Texans(-3) @ Miami Dolphins
The Texans need to win and look good doing so to show that they are finally more than an up and coming expansion team. They should have the chance to do so.

Philadelphia (-2.5) @ Atlanta Falcons
What a great game for the Sunday night national TV audience, Michael Vick's first game as a starter in Atlanta. In Vick's absense despite all the fireworks he's brought to Philadelphia replacing a worn out Donovan McNabb, Matt Ryan has earned a spot as a most capable QB in Atlanta. Atlanta looked horrible in game one versus Chicago. The Eagles appear to have everything going for them. The Eagles should win convincingly.

St. Louis Rams @ New York Giants (-6)
Yes, this is probably already a must win game for the New York Giants given how sloppy they looked in week one. The picture of the Giants as a team in disarray will get out of hand without dominating the Rams Monday night.

No comments: